Thursday, June 19, 2008

It's a Boy!

I am dedicating this journal to big hero. I love you to the moon and back....always. .......Mommy

November 3, 2007
Here I am...ready to see who this little mystery person is who I have grown to love over the past nine months. I was SO ready to meet you, Reid. I just couldn't wait to see you!

It's Reid!!!! We had no idea that you were a boy, first of all...and then your bilateral cleft lip and palate were a surprise as well. You know how to make an entrance, kiddo! I was scared beyond belief when I first saw you. How could I possibly meet all your needs? God really trusted your dad and I to do the best that we could for you, but I was really overwhelmed. I thought you were beautiful from the start. I first saw your beautiful eyes and all that hair! I knew you were a big baby just from how much room you took up inside of me. Never would I have imagined you were THIS big! You were so beautiful, and I was amazed that your dad and I had been given this perfect gift. You know, those were the first words out of your dad's mouth to me. He saw you first, and he told me right away...."you were just perfect." And that, you were.

Your cleft was large and off to the left side. Your palate was wide open as well. I was sad that you could not nurse. I was looking forward to that time with you. But, I would find other ways to bond with you later.

9 lbs. 6 ozs. and 20.5 inches long. Wow, Reid! No wonder I was HUGE! You were HUGE!

Just you and me, kiddo. This was the first really good look I got of you, and I was so honored to be your mom. You looked like Ellie in some ways, but you were definitely your own person. Now where do we go from here? I remember feeling so lost and just worried about you. I wanted to show you to the world, but I wanted to hide you as well....because I didn't want you to be looked at funny or stared at. I didn't want to answer questions. I just wanted to protect you from all that. I would soon learn that my ideas about all this would drastically change as time went on. I am proud to be your mom, and I think that you have a lot to show this world of ours. I just hope people will open up and listen with their hearts. I love you, Reid.


Anonymous said...

Hi, wonderful to see your journey with your little angel...We had a baby boy born on Nov 11th 2008 with wide bilateral cleft lip and palate, hes our angel we love him so much. He had his first surgery on Feb 24th 2009, they sure do amazing work nowadays. I love coming in and reading stories and looking at pics, some you can sure relate too, others make you realize how lucky you are. Thanks again for sharing your journey, God bless your litte boy.

mamatree said...

Thank you for sharing your journey. I am comforted in so many ways by how I can relate to so many of your thoughts. Our son, Josiah was born 11/24/08 with a incomplete BCLP. He just had his palate surgery last Monday. Your words inspire me to remember that God knows exactly what He is doing.